I want you to be exactly who you are.

I have the job of my dreams, right now. In fact, it is so great I never would have even thought to dream it. Since we just moved here, people are always asking me how I like my job and that is always the answer I give them. It is more than I can ask or imagine. Most often they look at me like I'm crazy or ask a few skeptical questions and then move on to more believable subject matter. But really, nothing in my life is believable right now.

This line is running through my head all the time, lately. "I want you to be exactly who you are." My boss said that to me about a month after I started my new job. It still has me pretty much at a loss for words. Or, more accurately, I have too many things to say to that and not enough captive audience to hear it all. "I want you to be exactly who you are." Yes, I needed permission. I have always very consciously wondered if it would be okay to be who I am, in public. How on earth would people take such a colorful, chaotic blast of sardonic, child-like, scatter-brained enthusiasm for life? Well, apparently that is not for me to decide.

When I interviewed for the job I have now, I had completely given up on finding a job I actually enjoyed and was solely pursuing jobs where I wouldn't have to clean toilets. Or at least not without gloves. DLC was one of the only ads I found that actually sounded interesting, so I was beyond excited when I met with their hiring squad. In that first hour of talking with the people who would become my boss and my coworker, the barriers came down. They didn't interrogate me about my qualifications for the position and rant about the company. We talked about what thrills us the most, how random experiences shape us, why we make art and what we make. Later I learned that I could have been a total nub and they would have hired me anyway because my email address is so cool. :) So I guess you could say they saw the unedited version of me, the version that I forgot existed outside of our apartment.

For my first month of work I was my usual uptight, highly edited self, until the Captain laid down the law. They liked the real me better and requested that I bring her to work from then on. Those words were earth-shattering. I guess for most people, hurling your quirks on society is not an issue but for some reason I've always thought I had to hide those things and be all professional and serious in most situations. Call me an introvert... But it turns out that the people I work with are all just as crazy as me and I made them uncomfortable when I tried to act normal. They specifically needed someone to tell bizarre stories and name all the inanimate objects in the office and throw carrots at people and speak in cartoon voices! Really, that's why they hired me (email address aside). Yes, I can dye my hair stop sign red and still be taken seriously. I can wear pink sneakers and antlers and my rockstar jeans and still be 100% successful. This is so foreign to me. Earth shattering. Life changing. I can be exactly who I am and not worry for one moment that people are going to take me the wrong way or think I'm a weirdo or second-guess my ability to do my job.

AND the guy who cleans our toilets is exactly who he is and he loves his job. That is the way work should be. I didn't even think it was possible, though, until I saw it for myself. No wonder it sounds like crazy talk. But stop giving me your crazy looks, people, because it is all true.

And now, all I have to say is- Blessings, like manna, rot when they're hoarded.


Peace.